Domestic Violence Awareness & Resource in PDX
Domestic violence means "violence that occurs within the home" which typically involves abuse of a spouse or partner. The term DV is commonly used to indicate violence between spouses (including other partners). In addition, there are other types such as child abuse and elderly abuse. For spouses, you might think of violence from husbands to wives but it could be from wives to husbands, from men to men's partners in gay couples, and from women to women's partners in lesbian couples. The statistic shows that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe DV. This is a global phenomenon unrelated to race, class, profession, age, or religion. This blog mainly talks about violence against women by men.
So, what does violence mean? The most obvious one is physical violence such as "beating", "kicking", "strangling" and "pulling hair". Additionally, fears are evoked by a weapon such as a gun or a knife. Violence, however, is not limited to physical attacks. Here are the other four different types.
1. Physical violence (beating, kicking, etc.)
2. Mental violence (mainly by verbal violence such as swearing and insulting)
3. Sexual violence (non-consent sexual activity and uncooperative contraception, sexual misconduct)
4. Social violence (economic violence such as not giving money, not allow working outside, contacting their friends and family members, and checking phones)
What is the difference between DV and marital fights? It is okay that the couple sometimes argues with each other. Domestic violence, on the other hand, includes physical and verbal attacks. A person threatens with disrespectful words and attitudes, blaming a wife or girlfriend for all the bad things, and looking down on him/her by saying like "you can't do anything", are DV. Anything that she feels offended by actions that her partner made is considered DV. In other words, domestic violence is when a partner CONTROLS the life of the partner's spouse or lover by threatening her with actions and words.
Domestic violence can be started daily check out on partner's behavior based on "when, where, what, and with who". Because her partner is worried and loves her, her partner became too protective of her. Then if she doesn't reply no matter what the reason is, the partner comes to look for her. If it escalates, the partner does not let her go out and see her friends and makes her isolated from her social circle, therefore the partner will be satisfied by feeling "I am protecting my lover ".
Beyond this situation, the partner regularly criticizes and treats her as if there is something wrong with her mind. For example, the house key is always hidden from where it is supposed to be, forcing her to change her phone number often. If this happens frequently, she may start thinking like "I have a flaw", "I am doing wrong", or "It's my fault". This is the control.
Moreover, when physical violence is added after completion of mind control, she starts to listen to whatever an intimate partner says even though she does not desire it because the partner physically attacks her if she does not listen. It is how DV gradually takes over and deteriorates her life.
If you notice some symptoms of DV or similarities, do not hesitate to talk to someone. If you are suffering, here is the place for women's accessible help in Portland. (https://rosehaven.org/) I had volunteer experiences in this organization, so I know that this place is safe, bright, and welcoming.
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